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Like Lost Elephants
Jan. 8th, 2002 11:01 amJustin went into Chris' room early one morning, and found Chris standing about a foot from the television, moving restlessly back and forth from one foot to the other. "Hey, Jup," Chris said, quickly, as though it was a relief to find somebody else in the room. The television was on the early morning news, and there was a representative from PETA on, talking about circuses. Justin caught something about elephants and thought about the blow-up clown doll that his mother had gotten for him when he was a kid, from Barnum & Bailey's. That clown had lived in the basement and it always scared him to think of it down there, just bobbing lightly back and forth, waiting for him, endlessly bobbing because it couldn't fall down.
"There was this thing on TV last night," Chris said. "This thing about these elephants, and they were brought to America for circuses and stuff and got separated and sold off to different people. And this one elephant got taken away by this guy and all its life it only knew that guy, it only knew people, it never knew another elephant." Chris' voice was even, almost monotone, but it was falling over itself in a wounded sort of way and Justin could feel anxiety rising in his throat.
"Yeah?" he said, because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Chris didn't seem to even hear him.
"Yeah. And then this woman somewhere, she bought this huge piece of land, for unwanted animals." Chris took a breath and the next words came out in a whoosh. "And she got elephants. From different places, about four elephants." Justin stared at the television and the man talking there, and he couldn't even hear him anymore, because all he could hear was Chris' voice tumbling inexorably on, like needles going in and out of flesh, building blood and breaking skin. "And the elephant who'd never seen any others, she--it turned out there was--and they knew each other, Jup, and they were put next to each other in the pen and they cried all night--" Justin stared harder at the TV and tried to ignore the alarming hotness sparking behind his own eyes, the sudden burst of water leaking down his face, the hurt rawness of Chris' voice, still going, still talking, "--and they knew each other even after all that time and kept touching each other, with their trunks, and crying, and the bars between them were bent in the morning from them bumping against them, J, and they'd been--but they knew...."
Justin swallowed, hard, and wondered who it was Chris had lost.
"There was this thing on TV last night," Chris said. "This thing about these elephants, and they were brought to America for circuses and stuff and got separated and sold off to different people. And this one elephant got taken away by this guy and all its life it only knew that guy, it only knew people, it never knew another elephant." Chris' voice was even, almost monotone, but it was falling over itself in a wounded sort of way and Justin could feel anxiety rising in his throat.
"Yeah?" he said, because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Chris didn't seem to even hear him.
"Yeah. And then this woman somewhere, she bought this huge piece of land, for unwanted animals." Chris took a breath and the next words came out in a whoosh. "And she got elephants. From different places, about four elephants." Justin stared at the television and the man talking there, and he couldn't even hear him anymore, because all he could hear was Chris' voice tumbling inexorably on, like needles going in and out of flesh, building blood and breaking skin. "And the elephant who'd never seen any others, she--it turned out there was--and they knew each other, Jup, and they were put next to each other in the pen and they cried all night--" Justin stared harder at the TV and tried to ignore the alarming hotness sparking behind his own eyes, the sudden burst of water leaking down his face, the hurt rawness of Chris' voice, still going, still talking, "--and they knew each other even after all that time and kept touching each other, with their trunks, and crying, and the bars between them were bent in the morning from them bumping against them, J, and they'd been--but they knew...."
Justin swallowed, hard, and wondered who it was Chris had lost.
