bossymarmalade: the fattest sweetest doggie in the entire world (STAR)
miss maggie ([personal profile] bossymarmalade) wrote2006-01-24 11:22 am
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Am livid beyond belief, but in the final analysis the election results could have been worse. Therefore, I am trying to be zen.

I think you should all help me to be zen by doing this meme!

Leave a list of fictional characters in your journal that you would love to get a message from. Your f- and f-of-list's mission, should they choose to accept it, to write you an in-character "letter" from a character on that list. Then they post their own list in their journal and the process continues!

Bono / John Constantine / Zorak, Space Ghost / Dr. Jack, Locke, Sayid, Jin, Sun / Kirkpatrick, Timberlake, Chasez / Dale Cooper, Harry Truman, Laura Palmer / anybody on the Baltimore Homicide Unit / anybody from The Simpsons/Futurama / X-Verse / Batverse / anybody from Red Dwarf / a Winchester / an Everwoodie / whoever else you think I would find entertaining

ANONYMOUS COMMENTING ON. *g*

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Be a man! Be a KLUGMAN!

Image

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie!

So sorry to hear about the election and stuff. :-) C came by my restaurant the other day and we were talking about the song that we're collaborating on, but then C said something about fat dogs and it made me think of you. Not in the way that sounded!! Really! I was just thinking about your great icon! Anyway, I said to him, "you know who I miss, C?" And he says, "who, cat?" And I said, "Maggie! We should totally invite her down for some dim sum!"

So, come eat with us, girl! Text me.

-JT

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
maggie

michael. walt. help.

jin

[identity profile] xoverau.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
What a fun idea!

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Maggie,

I miss your letters.

Love,
Lynn Harless
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
How about if I think of you when I look to the night sky?!?

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie,

Look at me. LOOK AT ME! When they ask you and whose army, you tell them, Maggie. You tell them, me and Jack's army! That's right.

Dr.Jesus Dr.Moses Dr.Jack.
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear J,

I sincerely hope that this means that you and JC will be putting out a song that deals with fat dogs in some way. Or at least, the concept of furniture-pets.

The suggestion of dim sum is wonderful; I will definitely take you up on that! Also, we better be eating at Chi, bitch, because I'm dying to try those samosa spring rolls and tamarind granita.

lurve, maggie

ps. BRING MOMMA
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Jin.

I would dearly love to help, but I find Walt kind of creepy. Are you guys *sure* you want him back?

Also, please give your lovely wife this list of things that can be made with coconuts/coconut byproducts: oil, brooms, fuel (for fires), thatching, padding, utensils, mosquito repellent.

Keep fighting the good fight!
maggie
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Lynn Harless,

I apologize profusely for the lapse in correspondence! It was wrong of me to fall behind so severely, especially since we have so much to talk about (ie. your son's new fashion line, his stymied movie career, his engagement (?!?), and his friends' predilictions to setting themselves on fire). Tell you what -- if you send me postcards with updates, I promise I'll write again. Deal?

all love,
maggie

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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear darling Dr. Jack,

I LOVE YOU. If I was on that island, you bet your ASS I would be making bumper stickers and flags and all kinds of shit to further your cause. You totally rock my world, and imho you are WAY better off without that whiny bitchass Mary-Sue wife of yours. ALLS YOU NEED IS YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' ARMY, BABY.

kisses,
maggie

ps. Don't be a dog in the manger. We both know you don't really want Kate; let her hook up with Sawyer. Then if you find you miss her for real, y'all can have threesomes. You're a doctor, you can do the math. Everybody WINS.
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
It is awesomes!

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear M,

I'm addressing you as "M" and not as "Maggie" because that's the curt and childish way I react when my feelings are hurt.

Why don't you want a letter from me? My hair is flowing and my nose is precious. I always make good decisions - not just for myself, but for everyone around me, too. I look fantastic in ever-changing ratty tank-tops, because they showcase my strong, tomboyish, full-of-womanly-allure arms. I like to overreact to things that merit no reaction and I don't address the things that I should notice and argue about. If you got to know me, I'm sure you'd approve of the way I manipulate Jack. I plan to mess him around for at least three more seasons - he'll never be a fully-functioning leader, but that's okay, because I'm going to lead our army to victory. Wait, what do you mean that puts me in the front lines?

xoxo,
Kate

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
DEAR MAGGIE

DRINK MORE.

LOVE CHRIS

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie -

How's the pie?
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Kate:

There are way too many times you have cheated death. I strongly suspect that you have entered into a pact with a demon of some sort in order to be granted an unnaturally long and irritating life. Either that, or you suck life and interest from everybody around you.

However, Sawyer seems strangely able to counteract your psychic vampirism; please obtain a sturdy needle and some twine and stitch your ass to his side immediately.

Also, that toy airplane you have? It's stupid and boring and nobody cares. About the damn horse, either. Kindly shove one or both up your precious nose and shut the hell up.

xxxooo,
m

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Maggie,
In times like this is it important to remember SPACE CORPS DIRECTIVE 34124 and continue on as is our duty, and keep order and a strict schedule.

Arnold J Rimmer

***
Bugger that. Fancy a vindaloo and curry? Ignore the smeg for brains.

Dave

***
Humans are very illogical. But charge my socket and call me Bill, there are floors to polish.

Kryten

***
All hands on deck. Swirly thing alert!

Cat



*giggles*
(*directive 34124: "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity")

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. The Waterfront just ain't been the same without you. 'Course, The Waterfront ain't been the same without Munch and ol' jailbird Bayliss neither, but I guess that ain't neither here nor there.

What I was writing to say was that I've been findin' myself sittin' around, listenin' to a whole bunch of Teddy Pendergrass all by my lonesome, and you know that ain't right. So if you ever find your pretty little self in my neck of the Inner Harbor, I just might leave the light on for you.

Signed just about as sincerely as I get,
Det. Meldrick Lewis
Baltimore Homicide
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Chris:

I AM MOTHERFUCKIN' ON IT.

love, maggie
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Special Agent Cooper:

Pie is *scrumptious*. If you hurry, I'll throw in a cup of coffee like you wouldn't believe.

adoration,
maggie
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Iron Balls: You are truly the best of us. Reckless disregard of Space Corps Directive 34124 has resulted in many a trip to the medbay, and you are quite correct in reminding us of it. What a guy!

Dear Dave: I'm making Thai green curry for dinner tonight; I think you'd like it. If you feel like something else, we've also got about five jars of assorted Indian chutneys, peppersauces, and pickles for your gastronomical delight! Bring the lager.

Dear Kryten: You know, I've got this one pile of laundry that's been evading the washing machine for months. D'you think you could...? Ta, there's a love.

Dear Cat: Ignore the swirly thing! You're lookin' shaaaaaaarp, man. *g*

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie-

Dude, totally wish you were here. A weekend of skiing just isn't the same without out.

Collin and Ephram say hi. I know they say that nobody wins in a threesome, but dude, they never tried it on a ski lift!

Missin' ya!
Bright
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[identity profile] bossymarmalade.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Detective Lewis:

You sure haven't forgotten how to sweet-talk a girl, but I've heard a LOT of stories from Barbara and Terri about you. Not to mention all the midnight whiny phonecalls from Mike. And Tim. And especially Munch.

...however, I cannot resist a man who owns a bar *and* rocks the porkpie hat, so I'll let you know the minute I'm in Bawlmer, and maybe we can make some music.

If you get clingy, though, I'm'a cap your ass.

interestedly,
maggie

(Anonymous) 2006-01-24 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Maggie, honey:

I'm thinking about changing my hair, but it seems like every time I do that something terrible happens. Thoughts?

I tried to ask Chris, but he pulled out some pot and we spent three hours talking about wallpaper paste and mint tea-- which reminds me, I think Chris might start a line of edible wallpaper pastes. Like Jessica's beauty products, but practicle. Lance has already offered to invest some of his reality tv money.

...Anyway, Chris is coming over again, so I should run. Let me know about the hair.

JC

[identity profile] kln1671.livejournal.com 2006-01-24 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Relax, chere! Dem ain't worth des much grief. Sure, t'ings don't look to good for da world, but dems the breaks. People, de make mistakes, and we get stuck wit' dere messes, but we get by. Da world keeps on turnin'. Dat is just da way of way of it. Ain't nut'in' to do but make da best o' t'ings and hope dat somet'in' better comes our way in da future.

Remy

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