bossymarmalade: blue eye with lashes of red flower petals (why you shouldn't teach lessons)
miss maggie ([personal profile] bossymarmalade) wrote2010-07-14 10:10 am
Entry tags:

seymour, come home right away! the refrigerator's too loud!


I am just gonna post this picture whenever my life feels too fucking ridiculous to handle. Because nothing is more ridiculous than this picture.

Dear friends, as if it wasn't stressful enough that I'm covering for two people at work right now plus being directly supervised by the office bully, the wee sister and I are heading off to a Family Reunion for the weekend. This would be fine if it were Paternal Family, who are all very dark and warm and jolly and love each other. Unfortunately, it is Maternal Family, who all put on airs and talk about how wonderful they are and carry grudges until death. They're like Lucille Bluth and Emily Gilmore but without the fun and compassion.

... Okay, not *all* of them are like this, but there's a distinct meanness to them that I'm not looking forward to.

PLUS we will be in rural panhandle Texas, in a little dry town (a DRY TOWN! And us, West Indians!! This WILL NOT DO) in what I assume will be sweltering heat.

inkstone: Air Gear's Ringo looking dubious, text: ... (...)

[personal profile] inkstone 2010-07-14 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
:stares at picture::

...I'm sorry. I need to go away for a bit and collect myself. Whatever I was going to say was blasted away by that picture.

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[personal profile] inkstone - 2010-07-14 18:27 (UTC) - Expand
impertinence: (Default)

[personal profile] impertinence 2010-07-14 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
and...peacock feather? what. WHAT.

oh reunions. I went to one once where I was sent to feed ducks during picture time because I was step-family. \o/ good luck dealing with yours.
haddayr: Silhouette of a woman at a typewriter with a cane across the back of her chair (Default)

[personal profile] haddayr 2010-07-14 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)

The photo leaves me speechless so I will just say: :pat pat: in response to your family trip.
ladyjax: (Default)

[personal profile] ladyjax 2010-07-14 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
You just had to share that picture. I see how you roll.

Srsly, though. I understand the family drama. A dry town? WTH? Oh Texas*, never change.

(*I went to TCU in Ft. Worth for a few years in the 80s and had never run into the whole dry town concept before)

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glass_icarus: (avatar: appa hiding)

[personal profile] glass_icarus 2010-07-14 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)

glockgal: (Default)

[personal profile] glockgal 2010-07-14 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
LOLLL that's it - when we get back, we're creating that blog I was mentioning and then Yeloson and Delux_Vivens had to peer pressure me and now I really totally want to. YOU HAVE TO DO IT AS WELL OR ELSE IT WILL FALL APART.

Just prepare yourself for the worst, and then everything that'll happen will be awesome! Also - remember:
1) you'll never see them again
2) they'll all try to be fakey-fakey, which is NASTY but then you don't have to feel obliged to make eye contact or even listen to what they have to say.
3) NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. They're all waaayyy all over in all those places and we're here.

Sigh. I wish you COULD meet up with Dad's side instead. When I went for big bro's wedding, it truly felt like coming home.

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paintyourlunch: credit: awakencordy (ohGodWTF &other...)

[personal profile] paintyourlunch 2010-07-14 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Wack picture is wack.

cathybites: (Default)

[personal profile] cathybites 2010-07-14 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
The only way that picture could be better (or, really I guess, worse) is if she'd been wearing a feather headdress. I'm actually kind of surprised that she's not.
glockgal: (Default)

[personal profile] glockgal 2010-07-14 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I guess she can tell the difference between 'dot' and '(non-peacock) feather'??!!!! TEE HEE I KNOW WHAT RACISM IS, SO IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S IRONIC!!!!!!!!!!

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duraflame: (I See)

[personal profile] duraflame 2010-07-14 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I want there to be so much shit talk about the nonsense that goes on on Etsy. Aiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I'm terribly sorry that you have to go to Texas and aren't allowed to drink while you're there. :(

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everysecondtuesday: glasses and milk tea in the morning (Default)

[personal profile] everysecondtuesday 2010-07-14 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
But how are you expected to survive a family reunion without alcohol? Does not compute.
dakiwiboid: Audrey Hepburn with hands over face (Sad Audrey)

OMG! That THING gets uglier if you click on it!

[personal profile] dakiwiboid 2010-07-14 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
And poor you! The only things I can think of that are worse than being stuck with family all weekend are being stuck with them all weekend in a rural town in sweltering heat without booze. Can you BYOB and a swamp cooler and pretend you aren't related to these people?
ext_6167: (Default)

[identity profile] 2010-07-14 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
"*Featured in Bride and Groom of Space Coast- May Eco-wedding issue!"

that kinda says it all.
goss: (Default)

[personal profile] goss 2010-07-14 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHA. Goddess of KNOWLEDGE indeed. :b

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[personal profile] sajia_kabir - 2010-07-14 20:24 (UTC) - Expand
rural_juror: (Default)

[personal profile] rural_juror 2010-07-14 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I imagine the shoot, the model asking if she should like glue some rhinestones on her face wouldn't that be ~authentic and the art director would say omg no! hdu you suggest that! have you no respect?!? that is so 1997!

I WISH YOU LEVEL 90 BS SHIELDS FOR THE VISIT and a sudden yet welcome cooling off of Texas.
zephre: Pink lotus in evening light, at Longwood Gardens. (ATLA: Appa and Toph)

[personal profile] zephre 2010-07-14 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish you were going to be closer to my bit of the state, I'd totally offer you guys an escape by visiting one of our awesome parks or art museums. :P

good luck with your trip!
meanheans: Blue glass tea kettle against a saturated white window (Default)

[personal profile] meanheans 2010-07-14 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Girl, y'all just get to the next county over and pick up a couple sixers, some ice, and a cooler. Sure, that'll cost a bit and all probably come from a Wal-mart, but sacrifices must be made for sanity!

And yeah, dry counties/towns just mean no alcohol sale. They can't prohibit consumption.

(Wish you were closer to South Texas, I'd totally come with my tan Latina ass and some Shiner Bock and crash the party!)
glockgal: (wha? wtf!)

[personal profile] glockgal 2010-07-14 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
and all probably come from a Wal-mart

I've been to the US like three times already this year, in completely different states and everything - and still nothing prepares me for this concept. Buying bottles of liquor in places that aren't designated liquor stores. Wal-Marts.


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willow: Raspberry on black background. Text: Original Unfiltered Willow (Willow:Unfiltered)


[personal profile] willow 2010-07-14 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Jesus turning water into wine would make a very interesting clubbing dress. Though little refillable cups of wine on the shirt would be a bit much.
inkstone: Shin Angyo Onshi's Miss Hwang giggling (:3)

Re: IDK...

[personal profile] inkstone 2010-07-14 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Though little refillable cups of wine on the shirt would be a bit much.

frangipani: photo of frangipani flowers (Default)

[personal profile] frangipani 2010-07-14 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I. Oh my god. And she's so happy and got the model all twirly about that dress. What, she couldn't have use Google to double-check?

Many well-wishes for your surviving the family reunions. And much, much sympathy. For damn near a decade, every year I was dragged by my mother to family reunions on the maternal side: all extremely conservative Muslims who didn't even bother gossiping behind my back about my parents' fucked-up relationship. The food was wonderful, but I would happily forever pass up the chance to eat my aunts' ketupat palas and rendang daging if it means I'll never have to endure another side-eye and a passive-aggressive interrogation from a relative ever again.
Edited (missing words) 2010-07-14 21:56 (UTC)
ciderpress: futurama: oh, i just wish i understood why. why i should care. ([bleep] our way out of it)

[personal profile] ciderpress 2010-07-14 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
if there is no alcohol, sometimes, faking amnesia works, especially for family feuds and grudges. ♥

re: the dress, one almost wonders if she's wearing matching shiva underwear. almost.
sinensis: zoe pointing a gun--don't piss her off. (zoe has a big damn gun)

[personal profile] sinensis 2010-07-15 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
if it were underwear that would transform or destroy itself, now that could be entertaining.
devilc: Jupiter in her wedding tiara with the word "imagine" (Default)

[personal profile] devilc 2010-07-14 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
PLUS we will be in rural panhandle Texas, in a little dry town (a DRY TOWN! And us, West Indians!! This WILL NOT DO) in what I assume will be sweltering heat.

I don't know whether to extend my deepest sympathies, or laugh until I fall out of the chair.

You may have to pack your own booze.

Or, if you can PM me with the name of the town, I can find the nearest wet town/county for you.
arallara: Chris Kirkpatrick does the "Uncle Sam" point with text banners above and below reading "You Control the Narrative." (Default)

[personal profile] arallara 2010-07-14 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh god. Just, OH GOD, to all of it!! As both a Child of White Hippies and a Friend of White Hipsters, I'm cringing so hard with familiarity and frustration when I look at that picture. ICK. And just, argh, reunion, in TEXAS NO ALCHOHOL WTF??? Looks like you've gotten lots of good advice here for surviving it, so I'll just send you a ton of good wishes that it's all less horrible than you expect in some way. :)
iamnaiad: (Default)

[personal profile] iamnaiad 2010-07-15 09:07 am (UTC)(link)
As both a Child of White Hippies...

I'm pretty sure I've seen that picture in a family album somewhere. The recognition is a slap in the face with embarrassment, isn't it?

No alcohol, Maggie? I'm thinking hip flask and vodka disguised as water. No one has to know, and desperate times etc. (Not that I'm seriously advocating taking booze into a dry zone, but the plotting could sooth your senses in the mean time.)
kerri: (Default)

[personal profile] kerri 2010-07-14 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I wonder how she'd react if someone corrected her... *facepalms*

I can't help thinking that if I'd had alcohol at some of the family reunions I went to as a teen, I might have enjoyed them more... -g-
mumblemutter: ([drag race] with fists)

[personal profile] mumblemutter 2010-07-15 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
That slip is epic. I WANT ONE.

(Enjoy your reunion, dollface. Ur, by enjoy clearly I mean "I hope the Gods bestow you with alcohol falling from the sky like manna" or something.)
lilacsigil: 12 Apostles rocks, text "Rock On" (12 Apostles)

[personal profile] lilacsigil 2010-07-15 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
I'm a teetotaller, but I have to say "snobby side of the family" (if they're anything like mine) plus "West Texas" sounds like it would drive me to drink in five minutes flat. Good luck!
vangirl: Entei art from (Van&Entei: Disturbed)

[personal profile] vangirl 2010-07-15 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
...I don't know much about Hindu but I'm going to assume the model knows even less.

...The peacock feather adds a nice "what the frak" touch.

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