bossymarmalade | a routine soul-smear

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a routine soul-smear

I always knew

navia was evil. From her overwhelming love for Joshtin, her constant efforts to convince me of such, and her glee everytime Justin "hangs" himself in the old-skool choreography for "I Want You Back", all the signs pointed towards her true nature.

But none so much as the idea for the spider-thing. And, seeing as it's her birthday, I've finally written it.

Heavy warnings for, um, mutated cannibalistic Justin, JC torture, and sort-of bestiality. Don't read it and then yell at me, okay? I already warned you.

the spider story

the spider story

He doesn't know how long he's been here.
He can remember, a time—days, weeks, eons, what?—ago when he first saw Justin turning. Saw him, heard him muttering away to himself in a strange scattered low way, saw him. JC wonders if he could have known. JC wonders if there's any way that anybody ever could have known.
He saw Spiderman when it came out and it was nothing like this.
When he hears tapping at the door, that much more agonizingly louder for the room being dark and dim, JC screams. It doesn't matter whether or not he screams, because his mouth is spun over with cobweb, so JC screams and screams until the dust chokes him.

...
Things look different in the semi-darkness low light and there's dust motes floating around all the time, wafting prettily over the white filament that binds JC to the bed. He thinks they're pretty. When Justin leaves he spends hours just watching them drift, heart beating faster when they get caught in sudden strange drafts and swish sideways.
JC thinks perhaps his mind isn't functioning quite right anymore.
It's the webbing, he knows it. It's all over him against his bare skin, and he can see enough to know that it's a pattern, even. It's like a quilt, if he squints down at it right, but there's something in it that's been seeping through him and making him groggy and slow. Justin had spun it without speaking at all, just a constant low hum. Justin did things like that now.
Justin's fingers wrap around the side of the door. JC stares at them, how pale they are, how long, how many of them. There's four, there's eight, there's long black things with sharp delicate tips and there's four six eight of those, he can't tell and he maybe doesn't want to. They tap along the wooden doorjamb with terrifying precision and Justin slides into the room, silent and graceful and moves easily onto the bed before JC can breathe. His body is still the same body and it's hovering tersely over JC, Justin's arms bracing him so just their hips are brushing against each other and there's long black spidery legs going around JC too. There's three and six and nine and they're all shiny and spikey and Justin smells like earth but his eyes are still blue.
One leg spans up to tap against JC's face, hard and chitinous and then slices through the web on JC's mouth. JC feels the slide of the cold exoskeleton between his lips and his eyelids flutter when nausea sweeps through his stomach. He gasps air, it's not fresh it's cloggy and filaments but it's good to breathe through his mouth again. He licks his lips. Justin wants him to talk.
"Please," he says. It's not what he meant to say but it's the first thing that he blurts and there are white spots behind his eyes. He imagines them reflected off the inside of his skull and it nearly blinds him. "Please, honey, please Justin. I can't. You. What—what happened to you, man, Justin, what?"
Justin tips his head to the side, and his eyes are big and round and dark and look like they're starting to flatten a little, like his whole face is starting to plane out like an alien's. He reaches one hand up to lay his flat index finger alongside JC's trembling, weak mouth and it's cold and dry. Justin balances the rest of his weight easily on his other arm. It's awful.
His mouth is already open, lower lip jutting, when he bends to kiss JC. When his head dips, JC can see the legs growing out of Justin's back where every rib curves and the larger, stronger set that brace from waist to hip, each side. They spike and bend like cranes. JC would cry, but he's too tired. Justin's mouth tastes of vanilla and dirt. His spider-legs feel like iron slatted against JC's sides.

...
Bad things happen.
JC first became aware of this when he read Lord of the Flies in grammar school. He couldn't think about it too hard because there was something about the description of Piggy's brains soft and pink and open on the rock that made him sick deep inside. It made his throat feel clogged. He didn't want to believe in it.
He learned it later for himself just when he was moving about and being alive. Bad things happen. That's life. You take the good with the bad. Get a helmet.
He lies in the bed and feels the soporific effect of the webbing make him a little less cogent with every passing hour. He tries to remember all of the dirty t-shirt sayings that used to confuse him when he was younger. He only manages to remember them halfway, bald spots being solar panels for something and a really disgusting one with women and cats and tunafish. JC had been upset eating fish for months after figuring out that one. He couldn't eat fish burgers for ages after reading some Stephen King zombie story about gross stuff and fish and cheese and hair.
None of this is stuff that he tells Justin. When Justin is there re-spinning the web with his arms that seem more and more every time, all JC can do is plead with him. He thinks of other things to say, even, but that's never what comes out. Bad things happen.
The worst thing happens when Justin is industriously spinning bands of white cobweb across JC's shoulders. Justin never spins lazily and now he clicks, he clicks and hums while he does it. It's almost like beatboxing but more horrible. It makes JC crazy.
Justin is spinning and spinning, his spider-arms moving black and accurate and flashing, and then he leans down and bites JC's chest, right below his collarbone.
Justin used to bite JC sometimes, ages ago, in lifetimes before. But that never felt like this, because Justin's teeth were broad and flat and this is different and it burns. JC looks down and sees that Justin has bitten a neat circle out of his skin. It's stark white for a minute, nice white crop circle in his flesh, and then pinpricks of blood, and then it's brimming swimming with blood.
"You bit me," he croaks. "You bit me."
The blood is spilling out of the nice little circle now and JC gives a panicky sob. Justin's eyes are bigger and stare at him and Justin takes another, contemplative bite, this time out of JC's shoulder, and that one hurts even more.

...

JC is terrified that spider-Justin wants to fuck him.

...

JC is right.

...
He spends the day after that staring at the ceiling. There is stucco on the ceiling. JC wonders if it would hurt if it fell down on him, with all the little points. JC wonders if it makes any difference to his sanity if he's perfectly aware that he's losing his mind. JC remembers what Justin feels like inside him, but he also knows what it feels like to be wrapped all around immobilized by dozens of stiff black carapace legs. There is no way for him to die unless Justin kills him. JC thinks he might not want to die just yet. He is strangely calm. He thinks.

...
When Justin is there next, JC waits patiently until Justin slits the webbing over his mouth. He swallows a few times and looks at Justin's long long legs, his real ones of flesh and bone, the way they're slanted across and off down the side of the bed. It's a lovely sight. JC has always liked Justin's long long legs.
"I want to be like you," he rasps. His voice is cottony and parched; he hardly uses it anymore. Justin pauses, a couple of legs still stirring restlessly, and fixes his biggest eyes on JC. His clicking has stopped. JC takes a deep breath and lowers his eyelashes. "Make me like you. Justin, please."
There's no movement after that, JC holds his breath, which comes easily now. He doesn't need as much air as he used to. He manages not to react even a little when Justin bites into the side of his chin and JC feels blood run down his neck. Justin rubs the side of his face into the blood and then kisses JC. His tongue isn't hot and soft like it used to be, he uses it like a lizard now and it makes JC shiver but he carefully latches his teeth onto Justin's still-so-pretty upper lip and bites down hard. The blood that splashes into JC's mouth is salty and tarry and JC swallows it eagerly, feeling it trail fire down his throat.
Justin's flattened face is smeared with blood. JC watches in fascination when more blood splatters against it, bright red human mammalian blood, and he looks down and sees a soft-shelled leg sticking out from his own side, tapping meandering weakly along the bed. He didn't even feel it tear out from his flesh. He feels the next one, though. Justin never moves, and Justin bites a crop circle out of JC's forearm.

...
Hours pass.
JC breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth.
Legs rip through JC's skin and sprawl haplessly down the mattress.
He thought that maybe after a while the pain would become more bearable, or that he wouldn't notice it as much. He realizes after one particularly thick, strong leg pushes out of his hipbone that's not going to happen. Justin watches quietly, clicking in what JC wants to believe is an anticipatory, encouraging manner. That's probably wishful thinking.
As it turns out, it isn't.
Moments after the last leg schripps out of his skin, Justin climbs smoothly on top of him. JC pants slightly when Justin pushes inside him but doesn't move otherwise. His body doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like his anymore, he's not sure if he should be worried about what happens to it if it's not his. Things are moving quickly and there's dust motes in the air, floating prettily past Piggy's brains soft and pink on the rock when Justin grabs one of JC's newborn softshelled legs in a frenzy and rips it out.
There's screaming, he's sure of that. It's strange because it's not as loud as Justin's clicks and it sounds a little like JC used to sound back when he screamed because of different things. Or really, because of the same thing because he used to scream like this when Justin fucked him, only there wasn't the also pain of his unnatural spider appendages being pulled out from where they sectionally joined his body, welded against bone and flesh.
Justin seems excited, as much as JC can tell through the haze of blood and pain and thick mucous matter that's spilling from his broken legs. He might stop thinking in a moment, because it's not really getting him anywhere. But he still wonders, a tiny little part of his mind, what brought them to this point and how it all happened. Maybe that doesn't matter anymore, no he's sure that doesn't matter anymore and in fact there's precious little that does matter, because Justin's looming up across JC's line of vision and Justin's eyes are the size of saucers and he's reaching up with one gentle, trembling leg (just like how justin's fingers used to tremble right before he came) and JC notices just how sharp the edge is, lethal really, before it slashes across his throat and everything goes

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! NO, YOU DID NOT! ::squeals, runs in circles, falls over:: I will read it immediately. You, my dear, are the most fabulous thing ever. *MWAH*

I hope it lives up to all our beautiful dreaming and plotting. *sentimental sniffle*

That was freakin awesome.

I am trying to keep the evils coos down to a minimum, being at work at all, but oh, that eeevol. Big huge lovely spiders dropping from ceilings eevol.

Coo-oooool.

And slightly very shivery.

Oh, fantastic. I was pretty sure I'd be, I dunno--run out of the fandom or something. I should have known better than to underestimate the average popslasher's capacity for weird horror fic. *g*

Thank you!

Yeah, I cut my teeth early on horror and backed into slash through there really.

Thank you Anne, Poppy, and all those others.

Love me some horror. Especially if its a little surreal. Though, admittedly, poorly done horror is the scariest thing there is.

Which your piece? Is not.

I was pretty sure I'd be, I dunno--run out of the fandom or something. I should have known better than to underestimate the average popslasher's capacity for weird horror fic. *g*

I told you no one was gonna kick you out of fandom, silly girl. But I'm glad that you risked your fandom neck for me. Awww. Check your email.

eee! I shall respond to the feedback, but in the meanwhile--yes, it's fine to link the fic. I friendslocked because I wanted to kind of test the waters before throwing it out there. *g*

Woah. That was creepy and animal as fuck. You completely rock. And that ending, man...

animal as fuck

What a fucking brilliant phrase! I love it. ^_^

And I knew you'd like it, you wonderful sick little monkey. You're so neat. *g*

Wow. That was...Wow.

I don't really know how else to describe what I'm feeling. Shivery, and kind of...weirded out, but not in a bad way (and I hope that makes sense). That was quite probably the freakiest, weirdest story -- nasty, dark, but *good* -- I've ever read. Ach, babbling now. I have no way, truly, to say what's inside my head. Well done. Very well done.

But if I dream about giant spiders tonight, I'm coming looking for you, chick. *g*

Incoherent feedback is good! Incoherent feedback makes me all happy inside. Thank you very much.

And if you do suffer from spider dreams, just remember--it was all Navia's idea. *g*

And if you do suffer from spider dreams, just remember--it was all Navia's idea. *g*

*snerk* Yes, but YOU wrote it! ;)

and, conversely, *I* read it. So. Guilt shared threeways! oooh. A threeway. *snerks again* *drags mind out out gutter*

how awesomely disturbing.

Oh, excellent. Thank you!

Shit. That was so fucking creepy.

Just...wow. Wow.

*g* Glad to creep you out, man.

That was primal and dark and animalistic all at once. It reminds me of the dark, sometimes scary short stories I used to read from this book when I was younger. One of the last stories was about a man, a house filled with dead people and a spider coming out of the weirdest place. I was always fascinated by that story, just like I am with yours. The amazing detail you put to describing everything, from the air in the room to the spider legs. I know I should probably be weirded out by things like this, but I'm not. I love weird, sometimes off-beat stories, and I don't see enough of them in this fandom.

*g* Did you ever read that Stephen King short story where this *finger* comes out of a guy's sink-drain and just starts...tapping around? That was one of the freakiest things I'd ever read. Your story reminds me of that.

I'm so glad you liked it, and that you enjoyed the primal sort of terror of it. You seem to have a real appreciation for this kind of thing, and I find that wonderful. Thank you!

Nope, never read that one. Sound interesting though.

I've been reading and watching weird, scary, off-beat things since I was little. Not much fazes me now. I just wish more writers would try something new and experimental. I tried writing something like that a long time ago, but it never really went anywhere outside my notebook.

Fuck! Yeah. Soooooo not Spiderman! I always know a horror story has worked, *really* worked, when it makes me feel all trapped and queasy and freaked out, and am verrrry much there right now. Kudos to you--this is just very, very creepy and upsetting, which I mean as a total compliment. *shudders, looks around nervously for spiders*

BTW, the warnings? So fucking priceless! Heehee!

*g* I never put warnings on anything, but I figured this would need them. Heh!

And if I made you all creeped-out and unsettled, then I certainly achieved my goal. I swear--when Navia and I discussed (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=navia&itemid=104634) this whole idea, it just nested in my brain and kept itching at me to write it. And now it's finally exorcised! Whoo-hoo! I can rest!

Thank you for the feedback, darlin'!

Of course I read this right after I've come back from buying a CD named "Year of the Spider"! There's a big spider on the cover! With little ones around it!

I don't want to listen to it now! *wimpers* lol

But Duuuuuuuude! Wow! So farking awesome! Just...yeah...WOW!

Thank you, honey!

And maybe the fact that you just bought a CD with spiders all over it is the universe's way of trying to...tell you something. muahahahahhaha!! *g*

And maybe the fact that you just bought a CD with spiders all over it is the universe's way of trying to...tell you something

*covers ears* Nooooooo! I don't want to hear it!!!!!!!!!!

:D

Sometimes I think that I'd like to scoop out a part of your brain and carry it around with me in a little filigree box.

Then I realize that you wouldn't be able to write stuff like this if I did.

This was wonderfully creepy, and so vivid it made my skin prickle.

Also, have you by any chance read Silk (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0451459008/qid=1054682182/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-6524310-2599141?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)? Spiiiiders.

oooh, that book sounds wonderful. It must go on my "read these" list.

And, you say the sweetest, strangest things. I love that about you, woman. Thank you for the feedback!

I want you to know that I braved my arachnophobia for this story and it was totally worth it. The description is priceless and the pacing makes it even creepier. And God, the ending... the ending killed me because it came so slow, but so fast at the same time that I was/was not expecting it.

You are twisted, but it's fucking fantastic. I love this story.

Oh, baby. *pet pet* I'm not overly keen on spiders, but they don't bother me too much.

Writing this was really enjoyable, to be honest--it was fun just taking JC's stream-of-consciousness and running with it, and how truly awful Justin was. I don't plan on doing it a lot, but it was definitely and interesting experience. *g*

Thank you for the wonderful feedback! *snug*

This is lovely. And, wow. I particularly like the biting.

The ending rocks. Pain and more pain and then, yes.

*g* Oh, Lain. I do adore the strange workings of your mind.

Thank you!

whoa.

this is fabulously creepy - you have quite the way with horror. spiders don't scare me normally, but the image of this Justin is going to stick with me for a while.

Thank you so much! I'm not usually much with horror, being the complete chickenshit that I am, but this was a special occasion and I was actually itching to write it. I'm very glad that it worked!

oh. OH. oh oh oh.

Darling, do I even need to tell you how much this story rocks? It's so fucking *creepy* and good and *creepy* and the way Joshtin should always be, with blood and torture and agony, and, dude. I didn't think it was possible but you made Justin even creepier than he is in real life.

I *heart* you.

Oh. oh my. yes. How you managed to get something like this to work, and be moving and sort of snarky at the same time, be creepy as all get out and shivery, abstract and very tangible all at once, I'm still trying to figure out.

Between this and Betty's Seahorse Story, I'm spoiled now for mutant!Justin. Spoiled, I tell you!

mmm, seahorses. I love them so much, and it makes sense for Justin to carry a baby like one, doesn't it? awwww! So sweet!

And thank you so much for the feedback, honey. I'm thrilled beyond belief to get so much positive feedback for this, because I was really very leery about posting it. I'm glad it works for you!

*snug*

Wow, um. I loved this. I'm so creeped out it's like the skin on my face is suddenly too tight, or something and my room feels really quiet and I can't think of what to say.

That was beautiful, lady. Thank you.

That's beautiful feedback, and absolutely marvelous to get. Thank you, sweetie.

guess i can just repeat everyone else's sentiment...wow! that was just...no words here...creepy, but so much more...the discrepancy between the beautiful language and the extremely disturbing subject matterwas just really unsettling...my mind was torn between 'pretty sentence, cool image' and 'omg...he didn't just do *this*'...

and the spiderman reference was priceless!

thanks!

Thank you for the cool feedback! I like the whole pretty image--horrible thing juxtaposition you mention and I'm terribly glad I was able to pull that off and still make it scary. It was a challenge, but a very enjoyable one. *g*

This was amazing and so disturbing I don't quite know what to say.;) Felt like I've been kicked in the gut, you know, and I think this story will haunt me for a while. In other word: Man, that was an excellent, excellent story! No words, just...wow. And a small shudder.

--B.C.

You sweet creature. I've never been so happy to scare and disturb somebody I love!

*snuggle*

y'know, I really wasn't going to read this, because I'm in a bitter-about-popslash phase, so I'm not really reading anything. And dude, spiders? So yeah. Wasn't going to, no matter how much I love you.

But then everyone ever was all "ooooh, the spider story" and I'm bored at work, and so yeah. Read it.

I think I'm going to have to read it about 40 more times. And hopefully that'll help me figure out exactly how it works so *well*, and why on earth name-checking Lord of the Flies in a fucking *nslash* story isn't remotely cheesy or pretentious, but rather is frighteningly creepy.

somehow this fits into any and all narcissism attributed to Justin, and it all seems bizarrely logical to follow it in this direction.

I'm very scared of you.

... :) ?

somehow this fits into any and all narcissism attributed to Justin

That's an interesting way to look at it. Because as a spider he's pretty much focused on what he wants, isn't he?

And I'm glad the Lord of the Flies mention didn't come off as pretentious, because it's been years since I've read the book and really, I didn't like it much at all. It creeped me the hell out.

Thank you for the feedback, sweetie, and for succumbing despite your bitter-phase. There's no need to be scared of me. *g*

Because as a spider he's pretty much focused on what he wants, isn't he?

mmm hmmm. And the staring somehow fits, too, although I'm not sure how. Cause it's not into a mirror or anything, and yet it seems that way - sort of perusing a newly purchased item.

And yeah, what really sealed the LotF reference was that second mention of the soft pink brains. V. nice use of that as metaphor for death of JC's innocence/sanity.

And you're quite welcome for the feedback, and I'm glad I succumbed. Although I maintain your use of the word "succumb" is indication that I should, indeed, still be scared of you. You'll start using your evil mind-powers on me, and next thing you know, I'll be meeting Justin while wearing an "arachnids do it eightfold" t-shirt...or something.

The story was disturbing....BUT I LOVED IT!!!!

Justin was fixated on having JC by any means necessary. His basic animal instincts took over.

mmmmm, Justin's animal instincts. *g*

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you for the feedback!

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a routine soul-smear

the spider story

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