bossymarmalade | megahunk bob balaban

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ficlets and commentfic

megahunk bob balaban

The most amusing 404 message I've seen in a long time. Heh!

I want to do that icon-character-pairing meme, but I want to do

throughadoor's version because I copy all my neat ideas from her. Also, doing this kind of made me wish for the old days when pretty much all my icons were *nsyncian, because this was HARD.

alex summers / alice in wonderland: "Oddly enough," Alex remarked as they fell past floating clocks and jars of marmalade and Alice kept a firm grip on the hem of her pinafore, "this is not the strangest situation I've ever been in." He crossed his arms behind his head with a relaxed chortle, and Alice wondered if she'd *ever* be free of mad people.

angelo espinosa / bart simpson: After a brief but memorable struggle in the food court of a local mall (which Jubilee forever afterward perfected a very voluble and arm-wavy, sound-effecty retelling of), Stretch Lad and Skin formed a tenuous alliance. And if that alliance seemed less about stopping crime and more about snitching Squishies from the Kwik-E-Mart, well, that was okay.

the beatles / bender: John was delighted at the depth that a washboard solo brought to his experimental music and ignored all of Paul's rolling-eyed glares; for his part, Bender liked it so much when George pointed at him and warbled, "a thingy! a fiendish thingy!!" that he didn't even mind Ringo tapping out high-hat rhythms on his head.

bono / brian kinney: "When I'm Pope, you can be a priest," Bono said as he tried on pair after pair of shades, trying to figure out which was the most pontiffical. "How does that sound?"
Brian raised his eyebrows, considering. "Not bad," he drawled. "All of the sinful boyfucking you've come to expect from the clergy, but none of the tedious preaching." He plucked a yellow pair from Bono's fingers and slid them on. "Do I start by kissing the Pope's ring?"

britney spears / charles montgomery burns: The rapidity with which Britney took to releasing the hounds and randomly dumping employees down trap doors would have been surprising to anybody who didn't know her most secret fondness and most secret weakness -- pushing big red buttons. As poor K.Fed had found out, to his great dismay.

chris kirkpatrick / christina aguilera: "You perv," Christina cackled. She looked like she wanted to say more but was overcome with gales of laughter. Chris stood awkwardly in Christina's high-heeled boots and skimpy outfit from the "Dirrty" video and made a face at her. "You love it," he said. She really couldn't argue.

special agent dale cooper / danny ocean: It wasn't until Daniel Ocean turned slightly to whisper something low into his companion's ear that Dale noticed the blue rose tucked into his buttonhole. He put down his cup of coffee and stood up, but by that time a row of chorus girls festooned with glittery clubs and spades and diamonds and hearts had danced across their path and by the time they passed, Danny Ocean and his blue rose were gone, and his companion with the brambly tattoos too.

david / egon spengler: Class 7 free-form vapours were generally a pain and tended to be aggravatingly cunning, but Egon didn't think he'd ever come across one that tread such a fine line between "original" and "idiotic". It bordered on genius to possess and animate Michaelangelo's David, because of course Egon was loath to turn his proton accelerator on a work of art; trying to pelt a stone out of a sling that was carved from one piece of marble, however, was just the sort of downfall Egon needed to slide a trap over and catch the ghost. Peter didn't make any cracks about Goliath, thank goodness.

elsie / ephram brown: "I just don't see why you'd choose Everwood to come to, out of all the places in the world." Ephram shifted, confused, as Elsie rearranged her old-fashioned skirts.
"Out of all the places in the world," she said in that sooty old-world voice, "this one has the most people who mind their own business."
Ephram got the point.

frank pembleton / the fugees: Wyclef was overjoyed; as it turned out, Frank Pembleton was a hell of a beatboxer. Pras drank cup after cup of coffee and Lauryn made plans to steal Frank away to guest on her next album.

gandalf / ganesh: Gandalf eyed the Hindu god with an irritated scowl. "We only have so many options for transportation," he growled, "and you are *not* making it easier." Ganesh only trumpeted softly and carried on eating milk curds and laddoo, licking his fingers.

gene kelly / ginny weasley: When Gene swooped down in a graceful, swift arc and whapped the Bludger unerringly towards her with a grin so bright it nearly split his face, Ginny began to think that maybe teaching him Quidditch hadn't been such a keen idea after all.

homer simpson / igby slocumb: Igby didn't mind rehab so much; they never served strawberry yogurt, and after a while his roommate's constant mumbling about something called "rageahol" got kind of soothing, in a crazy, crazy way.

dr. jack shepherd / jane fonda: "Somehow, I find it hard to believe that this island is run by Duran Duran," Jack said. She showed no sign of having heard him and declared, "Let's find SoGo!" Jack sighed and followed. He really had nothing better to do.

jayne cobb / jc chasez: "Can I ask you something?" JC said breathlessly, and Jayne looked up from where he was busy sliding down JC's torso, eyes hungry and unfocused. "Whuh?"
JC bit his lip. "Can you...I want you to..."
Jayne shifted restlessly, shoulder digging into JC's ribs. "Yeah? Spit it out, I ain't got all day."
"Can you...call me Vera while we do it?"
Jayne's grin just about lit up the entire room.

jean grey / john constantine: "I am fire!" Jean screamed as she rose into the air, wreathed with flame. "I am life incarnate! Now and forever, I am -- PHOENIX!"
"Blimey," John said nasally. "Some light show, luv. Now do a Roman Candle!"
"Oh, shove it," Jean said.

justin taylor / justin timberlake: "Your mom's really kind of hot," Justin said thoughtfully. The other Justin stared at him in abject horror.

liquor fairy / lisa simpson: Lisa pursed her mouth in suspicion. "You're not like the absinthe fairy, are you?"
The liquor fairy shook her head. "No, she's my out-of-control younger sister. You know how *that* is."
Lisa looked over at Maggie, who was placidly sucking her pacifier and hugging a copy of TV Guide. "Yeeaaaah," she said with a forced laugh. "They can be real wildcats."

lorelai gilmore / lynn harless: Lorelai had won out on location and so the wedding was going to be held in her beloved Stars Hollow, but all that meant was that Lynn was even more determined to have *her* say as well. And with the carriage she'd rented for the bride and groom (drawn by three white horses with some real fancy white plumage on their heads) and the choir of girls who would follow it scattering pink rose petals while they sang "The Greatest Love of All", she'd show those snooty Gilmores that her baby boy had *more* than enough class to marry into their family.

marge simpson / myrna loy: After a few long moments of silence, Marge finally ventured, "I have some of Grandma Bouvier's whiskey in that Civil War figurine over there...."
Myrna sat up straighter. "Well, let's not waste all this time gabbing!" she said. "It would be a shame to have let that soldier die in vain."
When Homer came to bail Marge out of jail that night, she refused to say anything about what had happened other than periodically proclaiming, "The south shall rise again!" and lapsing into hapless giggles.

ned flanders / nightwing: Some might say that there were better places to meet a potential boyfriend than a DC Talk concert. As Ned and Dick got on down to the strains of "Jesus Freak", they would most definitely disagree.

offred / oliver slocumb: You would think that the Handmaids would be more reluctant to join in Particicutions when the men are pretty, but you'd be wrong.

peter venkman / ramir: "Er, sorry about the mess," Peter offered as Ramir stared around Godiva's charred and wrecked kitchen. "Japanese rice demons can be tricky little buggers, and when they get together with Cowichan salmon-spirits...well, you got a helluva hellspawn entree there." Ramir pushed his hands through his hair as Dr. Venkman shuffled out of the rubble. "Fucking Vancouverites," he muttered. "Sushi is coming right the fuck off the menu."

robin / rory gilmore: "You'll like being Robin," the cute, earnest boy in the green mask told her cutely and earnestly. "You get to look all cool in a cape, and, okay -- you have to deal with Batman, and he's kind of grumpy but he'll look out for you, and you have to deal with Nightwing and he's kind of flaky but totally protective, and--"
Rory nodded, cute and earnest. "I think I might have some prior experience with the types," she said.

rusty ryan / space ghost: "I know a lot of songs," Space Ghost said, then sat there blankly while Zorak and Moltar chortled in the background. Rusty sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Space Ghost stirred. "You've got a mouth made for man-kissing," he said.
Rusty considered. Y'know, if you squinted just the right way, he *did* look a little like Danny around the jaw....

superintendent chalmers / tom waits: Superintendent Chalmers put on the new Tom Waits CD with trembling hands, barely able to control his excitement; he listened to track 3 holding perfectly still, hardly even breathing, and then there it was, distorted like the rest of the scratchy sound effects but still perfectly distinct within the song: "Skinn-ER!!"

virgin of guadalupe / wolverine: The apparition had an aura of turquoise-and-pink and the definite smell of roses, and Logan squinted up at it. "Didn't think I was at the hallucinatin' stage yet, darlin'," he croaked, and the woman smiled. "You've got a while yet to go, nino," she said. "You're not about to die on my watch. What sort of ending to a Mexican road trip would *that* be?"

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oh my god, maggie, every time I'd read one I'd gasp and clasp my hands and then I'd read the next and be more agog. these are so COOL! so GOOD! I love them :)

Hee! They took me FOREVER to do, so I am glad that they're amusing you! Thank you, sweetie!

justin taylor / justin timberlake: "Your mom's really kind of hot," Justin said thoughtfully. The other Justin stared at him in abject horror.

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED, WILL HAPPEN AND WILL EVER HAPPEN TO ME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

seriously, i cannot believe i never noticed the hot momma connection until this moment. for shame!

ahahahah! The hot momma connection is a gift of the universe, man; every time we tap into it, I feel like we're connected to a HIGHER POWER.

And thank you for starting this version of the meme! It was hella fun to read *and* to do. *g*

I'm so impressed that you both managed to make it work whichever Justin was speaking. SO IMPRESSED.

They have more in common than just the obvious gayness! *g*

scary amazing.

Hee hee! I am glad you liked. *g*

Frank BEATBOXING! It scares me a little, but I think I can see it.

Can you IMAGINE what that would be like?!? I don't think Munch would *ever* stop talking about it.

Frank beatboxing scared me. In a good way!

God, I want an entire Bono/Briany Kinney story now.

ahahahahah! Dude, I would DIE of the wonderfulness of such a thing. Plus, there would be more of Brian Kinney's awful singing in it! Hee!

*dies*

*loves you*

Hee hee! I lurve you too, especially when you leave me delish comments like this. *g*

OMIGOD!!! I don't even know which one to pick as my favorite because they all ROCK SO MUCH!!!

p.s.- i totally lied. it's the jayne/jc.

or possibly rusty/space ghost

ahahahahhahahha! If you like the Space Ghost, I know I've done a good job! I hold all Space Ghost-ness up to the level of your ficlet about a cup of Tad, man. That was pure genius.

*mwah*

*bows to you* You made Rusty and Space Ghost work. You rule.

"Your mom's really kind of hot," Justin said thoughtfully

Of course he'd say that. Hee!

Rusty and Space Ghost was SO HARD. I am intensely gratified that you liked it. *g* Thank you!

404 message was funny!

And I like your version of the pairing meme. I had to stop and think on a couple. The space ghost one made me laugh out loud though.

I love clever 404 messages SO MUCH!

And I am delighted that you got a chuckle out of the pairing meme! They were an effort, but plenty of fun to do. *g*

The Britney/Mr. Burns! That's fantastic, and I just want to think about it for a little while. Pembleton/Fugees, however, is like imaginary numbers: I can't quite get my brain around the concept. I think I can see Frank beatboxing .. no, he's just scowling. At me. And my favourite has to be Marge/Myrna Loy. You win!

Would it have been easier if Frank was pop & lock-ing? FRANK DOING THE ROBOT! ahahahahaahha!! No, if anybody would do the Robot, it would be Bayliss. *g*

I am kind of totally in love with the idea of Bitsy being Mr. Burns's protegee. Would that not be AWESOME? She would be the cutest little tyrant EVER!

my favourite has to be Marge/Myrna Loy

Yay! I thought that one would be easy to write, but I was SO WRONG OMG. But your feedback makes it all worth it! Thank you, sugarbird! *mwah*

Also, doing this kind of made me wish for the old days when pretty much all my icons were *nsyncian, because this was HARD.

Dude, nah -- much as I'd have loved to see the other thing, these were great! (My fave was Justin/Justin as well.) You know, if I did this meme, mine would be so limited; it'd end up with (1) Justin and JC loving themselves, (2) Justin and JC together loving either of themselves, or (3) Justin and JC loving each other, and since that's all they do and all I write already anyway, it'd be very, very blah.

Oh, wait. One or both of them would also have to love the sheep from Wallace and Gromit. That might have proved fruitful.

One or both of them would also have to love the sheep from Wallace and Gromit

Would that count as lamblove or bassez? ahahahaha!

And JC or Justin loving themselves/each other would be fun! Because they would be different eras, and all that. mmmmmm, time-screwy.

OH MY GOD! They are all so WONDERFUL!

Bono/Brian! Brit-Brit/Mr. Burns! Jayne/JC! Justin/Justin!11!!!

Hee hee hee! I am tickled that you enjoyed them. And OMG Brit-Brit/Mr. Burns is a THING OF BEAUTY!!!!

Thank you, sugar!

chris kirkpatrick/christina aguilera! It's my het otp! And what an image!

Also, this made me laugh out loud (or, louder than the others anyway, as I laughed at many of them): "Can you...call me Vera while we do it?"

Dear X/Xtina! With their dark-haired bitchiness! Heh.

Can you...call me Vera

I confess, this is EXACTLY what I would do if I were in JC's position. hee!

Thank you for the comment, dumpling! I'm happy that I gave a giggle. *g*

As everyone else said, THESE COMPLETELY ROCK! Britney and Mr Burns should have a game show together. But by far, the Jayne/JC one is the best. ever. Ever.

Britney and Mr Burns should have a game show together

That would be the best thing in the WORLD. Can you imagine her doing the trademark "eeeeeexcellent" and steepling her fingers? SO PRECIOUS!!

Thank you for the sweet words, leibling!

can I imagine?! I CAN IMAGINE. she'd say it with her little accent, and then she would giggle, and I would die. and Mr. Burns would treat her like the daughter he never had, and they would drop people down holes and then eat ice cream, or perhaps martinis, together and do their closing segment like Jerry Springer's closing thoughts.

This is the most amazing rendition of this meme I've seen yet. MAGGIE. YOU WIN AT LIFE.

The only way this would have been made better is if you had an icon of the FATTEST DOG IN THE WORLD, and somehow had to incorporate her into this. Then my life would be complete.

omg STAR! I was trying to locate the follow-up Star entry on my lj the other day, because the only one I could find was the first one and I was suddenly struck with a longing to see the picture of Star SMILING. I should take another look and then make an icon, because REALLY. You are SO RIGHT.

And thank you oodles for the kind words, you sweet sweet thing. *mwah*!!

The Lorelai Gilmore & Lynn Harless one. OMG.

Or, okay, all of these.

Hee hee hee! I had SUCH FUN thinking about Lorelai and Lynn planning the wedding for their babies. That would be unbelievably entertaining to watch. *g*

I am glad that you enjoyed, sugarling!

ahahahhaa. why am i so entraced by ganesh/gandalf? you have a gift for the... cheekily sacreligiously delicious. and all of these were so much fun. i wish you'd expand on ALL of THEM. <3

or you know, just jayne/jc. love you truly. truly.

Hee! I LOVED writing gandalf/ganesh. My gods are so much fun to include in silly fanfic; it's good to have gods with senses of humour when it comes to things like that. *g*

Thank you so much for the sweet feedback, dearest of dumplings! *snuggle*

OMG BONO/BRIAN = MOST BRILL THING EVER! You are truly a genius beyond all other genuises and I bow at your feet.

I WOULD FALL DOWN AND WORSHIP BONO/BRIAN WITHOUT EVEN BEING ASKED. Can you imagine?!? omg. Hottest Holy Roman Church EVER!!!

Incidentally, your icon is possibly the most perfect representation of The Kinnster That Michael Never Understood that exists in this cosmos.

justin taylor / justin timberlake: "Your mom's really kind of hot," Justin said thoughtfully. The other Justin stared at him in abject horror.

Ahahahahaha... so. funny.

Hee! I'm glad you got a giggle out of it. *g*

"I know a lot of songs," Space Ghost said, then sat there blankly while Zorak and Moltar chortled in the background.

askldfhjalskdhfkasdhfksadhfksdhfkljadh Jean! John!!j ;lsdjhfo;sadjfroijhdf

ahahahahahahahahhaha! JASON AS SPACE GHOST IS THE FUNNIEST THOUGHT EVAR.

Jean & John! I love them SO MUCH!!! Although I am also irrevocably fond of Robin and Rory. SO MUCH ROUND-HEADEDNESS OMG

You be genius!! Genius, I say! I liked Bono/Brian the best, but they were all practically perfect!

Hooray! Thank you so much! I would totally take Communion from Father Kinney and write for a dispensation from Pope Bono Vox I. mmmmmmmmm.

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megahunk bob balaban

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