homer and i had real chemistry onscreen

[bossymarmalade]

I am in the process of tagging all relevant journal entries, and I found an aborted post that had been intended for NaJoWriMo! Most of it is useless, but there's some Supernatural stuff and that I will post here because rereading it made me go HELL YEAH.

Lori and I were talking about it and we agreed that the better female characters are the ones who are not romantically involved with Sam or Dean in any way. Sam's girlfriend was a)pointless, b)a bad actress, c)stilted, and d)completely devoid of any chemistry with Sam. Dean's ex-girlfriend was a)a bad actress, b)smug, c)self-righteous, and d)completely devoid of any chemistry with Dean. And then we have the two ex-Jossverse actresses, and rather unsurprisingly they are both Joss's inexplicable favourites and the two who I found the most unconvincing and downright irritating to watch.

I mean, Darla. I missed the very beginning of the faith-healing episode and haven't rewatched it since, but from what I could tell Julie Benz was doing her same old "I'm so deep and intriguing, now listen to me deliver all my lines in my compelling Baby Voice" routine except without the excitement of syphillis or eventual onscreen death. I never felt sorry for her in Angel or Buffy, and I sure as hell felt no sympathy for her in Supernatural. In fact, I felt more sympathy for ME for having to endure scenes of her trying to look long-suffering and martyred and Dean staring at her with big limpid cow-eyes of admiration.

And then, of course, my favourite of all the irksome twitchy stick-figures I've ever been forced to watch -- Amy fucking Acker. I cannot even DESCRIBE the surge of anger and revulsion that I felt when she lurched onto the screen in that evil-drowning-lake episode; I am at a complete loss to recount the UTTER HATRED I felt when for no apparent reason Dean found her to be the most attractive thing he'd seen since he looked at his brother. WHY?!? Why did the fucking Everybody Loves Fred syndrome follow her over from Angel?!? Why did she get to shoot Dean down with asinine and hateful comebacks? Why why WHY?!?!? God, I hate her so much. I thought maybe it was just the character of Fred, but no, I hate Amy Acker. I hate her stupid gormless face, I hate how she thinks that wobbly voice is adorable and irresistable, I hate her lank brown hair and the way she bares her teeth to show fear and the way she twists her mouth when she thinks she's said something smart. They better not fucking bring that woman back as a refuckingcurring character, because I LIVE WHERE THEY FILM THE SHOW AND I AM NOT ABOVE HUNTING A BITCH DOWN.

But seriously, y'all. If you were hired to flirt with/have a mad sex scene with Jensen Ackles, how hard would it be to act as though you were really into it? HOW HARD?

PS: Dear Sam's Girlfriend,
If one hears a noise in one's room in the middle of the night that sounds like people struggling and finds one's tall strong and handsome boyfriend missing, and one subsequently decides to investigate said noise wearing only bikini panties and the croppiest of baby crop-tops, it seems rather silly to then snittily make comments about going to put on clothes when ogled by the boyfriend's brother. Really, being ogled is probably the best possible outcome of such a scenario. However, this may no longer be a matter of concern to you, as you are now dead and unlamented by anybody except the boyfriend (and then only sporadically). Sucks to be you, Sam's Dead Girlfriend.

Comments

[marej.livejournal.com]

you're making me

a. wanna hate Amy Acker, man. and i don't even hate her. i hated fred-- okay i can't start on this because YOU JUST KNOW HOW IT WILL END DON'T YOU.
b. get over myself and almost wanna watch SPN.

but yes, you=pure love, maggie, pure love.

*lovessomuch*

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

You should hate Amy Acker *almost* as much as you should watch Supernatural!! I'm telling you -- there are three television shows that I ever actually get scared of, and those are Twin Peaks, Lost, and Supernatural. It's good stuff, as long as you stay out of the fandom. ahahahhah!!

you=pure love, maggie, pure love.

I really can't think of anybody who's as much a ball of laughter and sunshine as I am!

*giggle*

*adores you*

[rachel-wilder.livejournal.com]

Just when I'm afraid you might become sentimental... ;-)

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I'm headed down that Bitter Old Fandom Queen road at a rapid pace, Rachel! *g*

[rachel-wilder.livejournal.com]

Well, all of your friends are waiting down here to greet you.

[kaelie.livejournal.com]

omg I love you.

Julie Benz also spent some quality time baby-talking her way around my favorite show, Roswell. Oh, the rage! What a worthless piece of crap she was/is.

I LIVE WHERE THEY FILM THE SHOW AND I AM NOT ABOVE HUNTING A BITCH DOWN.

I bet fandom could provide you with a laundry list of people to hunt down, dude. For your more rageful, aggressive moods.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Julie Benz also spent some quality time baby-talking her way around my favorite show, Roswell

ahahahaah! I mean, you have my condolences. I just don't GET what everybody thought was so awesome about her -- she's not a very good actor to begin with, and the Evil Baby Voice just made her all the more loathesome!

I bet fandom could provide you with a laundry list of people to hunt down, dude. For your more rageful, aggressive moods.

That's a good idea! Since I obviously am useless at hunting down the visiting actors who I'd *like* to see, I might as well try the other way 'round. Heh!

[gigantic.livejournal.com]

he better female characters are the ones who are not romantically involved with Sam or Dean in any way

Word. Word word word.

This post makes me so happy I could kick someone in the teeth, Maggie.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

You can kick Amy Acker in the teeth! Just wait until she's trying to express fear!!

[tammylee.livejournal.com]

=D
Werd to yer mum!

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahaha! YOU DAMN RIGHT.

[evilprettykitty.livejournal.com]

Dude, I don't even REMEMBER that Amy Acker was on the show. heh. Unless is was the one with the smoke things. That one was corrupted in my dl both times.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

She was in that one with the killer lake, where everybody was getting drowned! Not that you really missed anything. Maybe your mind just erased her out of self-protection!

[evilprettykitty.livejournal.com]

I totally don't remember her! Clearly my mind is trying to protect me.

[zaneetas.livejournal.com]

Fred I don't mind but, man, I nearly gave up watching Angel b/c of Julie Benz. Is that her everyday voice? Seriously, does she go into the grocery store and curl a lock of blond hair around her finger slowly and give some poor employee a slow smile before asking him in the highest-pitch whisper she can muster which aisle the corn nuts are in? (To which, of course, said employee goes "WHAT? I can't understand a damn thing you're saying, lady.")

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahahhaOMG. I think she dopes the Voice up for when she's being "eeeevil", but I don't care because I want it to be EXACTLY like how you've said. CORN NUTS! AAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

[callmesandy.livejournal.com]

Okay, noting that I *like* Amy Acker and Fred, nevertheless, your hatred makes me wonder: Chris Thorman vs Amy Acker/Fred? Which is the greater hell for you to be locked into a room watching endless footage of?

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Amy Acker, no contest. For as much as I hate Chris Thormann, I liked Toby Beecher plenty and have liked Lee Tergeson in other things, so all my loathing is directed only at one character. And even then, Thormann wasn't a big deal in the scheme of things, not like madam NOT THIS GIRL NOT THIS DAY.

ARRRRRGH!!!

[darlita.livejournal.com]

I dunno what cracks me up more: Your utter HATRED or your ICON. HAHAHA.
And WORD on everything you said. THAT'S THE SPIRIT ABOUT ANNOYING FEMALE CHARACTERS!!1

Ps: I'm still SO SO SO jealous that you live where they're filming the show. I WANNA STALK WINCHESTERS DAMNIT.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahaha! If you lived here, I would hope that you had better luck at stalking than I do, since I fail to find them even when the entire family is FILMING OUTSIDE MY FRIEND'S APARTMENT. I suck!!!!

[lcsbanana.livejournal.com]

heeeeee, i love amy acker but i also love watching you hate on stuff. GORMLESS! that is such an awesome word.

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

I don't *mind* Amy Acker, but it was pretty damn hilarious to be mainlining the first season and being like, "DAMN! All these girls are SO SKINNY! What is with the casting on this show? These BOTWs and damsels aren't just model skinny, they're skeletal! Who's next, Am--"

And then, voila! Amy Acker!

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahaha! IF YOU SAY HER NAME SHE WILL APPEAR.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

"Gormless" is one of the best and most succinct ways I can think to sum up her listless lameness! Pylea MY ASS.

[kaffy-smaffy.livejournal.com]

You make me want to hate Amy Acker too. I have the Fred hate down pat, but watching you hate on Amy Acker makes me want to do it too.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Dude, I will move over on the sofa for ANYBODY who wants to join the Amy Acker Hate Club! There's plenty of room!!

[cathybites.livejournal.com]

man, between you and Sarah, Amy Acker never had a chance with me. YOU ARE BOTH BAD INFLUENCES ON ME.

or maybe very very good influences.

anyways, YES to the girlfriends/romantic interests being lameness. Jess I did not mind so much because, really, she was barely there, but, man, Cassie made me want to drive nails through my eyes.

and not!Fred...ugh. C'MON! Even *I* wouldn't pass up a chance to make out with Jensen Ackles.

AND THE WRETCHED PREACHER'S DAUGHTER. ugh. I really kind of wanted the Hook Man to string her intestines up around the church.

Exception, though, I think goes to Sarah, the auction chick, because while she wasn't mind-blowingly fantastic, I did find her ridiculously hot with those bangin' curves rather charming.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

We have SAVED you from any sort of Acker-love! that is a true gift, my friend.

Even *I* wouldn't pass up a chance to make out with Jensen Ackles.

Same here. And I am not even the slightest bit interested in him that way. But I mean, just LOOK at him!

Sarah the auction chick was good! And the cop chick. They were mucho cool.

[prettypinkkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but Jensen Ackles v. uh, Jared, something? There's no losing! I'm a big ho, but I'd do them both! At the same time! Maybe? But yes. I agree.

When Sark on Alias was finding her attractive, I just wanted it to end.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

aahahaha! Seriously, there is no losing out when it comes to making out with a Winchester. Hell, throw papa in there too, man!!

[lemniskate.livejournal.com]

this is why I will always love you, maggie. I loathe and despise fred/amy with every fiber of my being, but when I try to explain, I just end up sputtering and shouting random words -- MARY SUE! IDIOT! gah! and people quit looking at me like I've stomped on their kitten and start backing away like I'm crazy ;) darla, I didn't care about because she was never on so much, and she didn't interact with people I liked -- but freaking fred fucking up gunn and wes? that bitch needs to PAY! and then bringing her back as the superhero smurf? KILL ME NOW. angel was such a hard show to love.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

freaking fred fucking up gunn and wes?

YES!! And I don't even mean that in the 'she got between the hoyay, waaah' -- I mean, they were FRIENDS, and they loved and respected each other, and she RUINED it. I fucking hate that kind of storyline, and it was even worse in Angel b/c they totally hacked up Gunn's character to turn him into whatever best showcased fucking Fred at the moment.

I loved Angel very passionately at moments, but dammit -- once Fred appeared to screw up all the character interaction and make everything about *her*, it really was hard. I totally agree with you. And hard in the way that I couldn't just abandon the show peaceably, but I still get ANGRY thinking about how characters I came to love so much were so irrevocably screwed over for miss TWO WORDS WINIFRED BURKLE.

UGH.

[lemniskate.livejournal.com]

Yes. She shows up and EVERYONE loves her. EVERYONE. Random lab tech guy loves her so much he wants to make her a god. She's some physics expert, but for some reason she's the go to girl for translating sanskrit, and not, oh, say.. Wes, who spent his life studying and over-educating himself? Grrrrr.

and yes. not even about any humpy action between gunn and wes, she just jammed herself in there and messed them up good. How Gunn could go from calling Cordelia Stick figure barbie to apparently finding Fred the end all and be all... I really don't know. you're right. it just makes me mad. That should be my new curse word. WINIFRED BURKLE! instead of something more profane that the flash monster could pick up ;)