when i was seventeen, i had some very good beer

[bossymarmalade]

omg WHY do I insist on watching 7th Heaven?!?! On tonight's episode I was subjected to the following:

- detention where Ruthie's music teacher played endless Gershwin and children started SHOWING UP VOLUNTARILY b/c they loved this so much
- intense discussion about how it's okay if the white man co-opts the black man's music because they make it TIMELESS, like Gershwin
- followed by some girl disdainfully implying that black music (she listed Kanye and Fiddy) doesn't last in people's memories and hearts, the way Gershwin does
- Annie pawing the piano, prying into Ruthie's business, praying to Gershwin, and whining out some version of "I've Got a Crush on You"
- Simon randomly calling Ruthie and asking her, "Say, Ruthie -- do you know of any music that's classic and timeless?!?" Why, of course, Simon! It's GERSHWIN!!
- Ruthie picking out Simon and Eve's wedding song. And then Eve singing "Embraceable You". You know why? Because she loves GERSHWIN.
- Ruthie crying melodramatically and claiming that nothing will ever be good again b/c music teacher is getting fired and the Gershwin is leaving her life
- the revelation that Ruthie's friend is homeless (and therefore sings Gershwin on the street and rides buses all night for warmth); not only that, but her WHOLE FAMILY is homeless. Because her parents are ILLITERATE. And yet, Ruthie's friend knows the entire Gershwin songbook.

And then a wrap-up of Ruthie's music teacher (think of that episode where Dustin Hoffman was the voice of Lisa's substitute teacher, but gayer) playing piano in detention while Miss Ruthie weeps. Also, I never want to hear the word Gershwin again. I do, however, need to go find my Sinatra: The Capitol Years and listen to a *good* version of I've Got a Crush on You.

Comments

[indirajames.livejournal.com]

How old are these kids by now!?!?

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Many of them are old enough to have left the CamPound; however, since the family keeps acquiring new foundlings, the house is never empty!!

*weeps quietly*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thank god that show's going to be cancelled.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I can't believe it took THIS LONG!!

[copracat]

I got nothing to say to that. My jaw has dropped too far.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I swear, I just watch this show at this point to see HOW FAR they can go with the complete madness.

[supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com]

oh my God. I haven't watched 7th Heaven voluntarily in YEARS and don't remember much of it, but that? Sounds like one of those really bad '50s sitcoms. Uh.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

It is SO BAD. Like, unbelievably. The best part is that they do it all so earnestly, like the show *really does* have its finger on the pulse of People Today. eeeek!

[jae-w.livejournal.com]

They kept running a teaser for this episode that said something like, "Tonight -- find out the truth about Ruthie!" and I thought we were going to find out the truth of her origins, like what robot factory she came from, and not just that she's still in love with some horrible semi-brother or whoever it is. However, as I was fast-forwarding through the terrible last scene with the Gershwin, I hit pause for a second and it looked like Ruthie's hair had been superimposed on the music teacher's head, and it was almost worth it.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahaha! The truth behind Ruthie's parentage, at the very least.

By the last few scenes, I was hiding behind the computer and avoiding looking at the screen; it sounds like I missed the best part!

And also, happy belated, you! I hope you had a wonderful time and plenty of prim, long-legged boys to fete you and hop to your every command. *mwah*!

[callmesandy.livejournal.com]

But you know, this made me look up the Chuck D quote about Elvis. You know, since Elvis and Eminem are so similar. That was really my favorite.

Can anyone pull the illiterate thing after Wayne's World? Should they even try? Because for me, whenever someone says that I flash on Mike Myers going "I CANNNNNNNNN'T REAAAAAAAAD" while "oscar clip" flashes underneath.

And you know, again, this was bad. But still not as BAD as the episode where Annie's father died and everyone was really happy.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I just...the whole music "discussion" was so insane and convoluted and crappy, and never actually made any POINT other than "Gershwin RULEZZZ!" Lord.

The whole illiterate thing just seemed so shoehorned in! Like Maggie was desperately searching for some way to make her situation more dire, to impress Ruthie or something. And omg, could Lucy be MORE objectionable?!?!

not as BAD as the episode where Annie's father died and everyone was really happy

ahahahahah! I read that recap on TWoP the other day and y'know, it kind of made *me* happy too. Hee!

[callmesandy.livejournal.com]

You've no idea what it was like watching it unfold the first time. The dancing and the repeated "I'm happy since Annie's father died!" It was even more special if you live in the world and have ever experienced a death in your family.

Ruthie was a hero to some but she never meant shit to me. ;)

[zaneetas.livejournal.com]

followed by some girl disdainfully implying that black music (she listed Kanye and Fiddy) doesn't last in people's memories and hearts, the way Gershwin does

Okay. Hand to god, if -- at some point in the next 20 years -- this show is revealed to have been sponsored by, like, the NAACP as some kind of incredibly brilliant reverse-psychology trick, I will not be surprised. Dude.

Also, Annie SANG? Wow, that's just so unfortunate.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Annie SANG! Or something like it. She was also leaning into Ruthie's face and LEERING when she sang "'cause i have got a crush my baby on you." *shudder*

sponsored by, like, the NAACP as some kind of incredibly brilliant reverse-psychology trick

Dude, at this point, that is the only thing that could even slightly redeem some of the things these people say. Like, SERIOUSLY.

[chootoy.livejournal.com]

didn't you find the homeless chick's rendition of "Summertime" timeless?

spit

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

It took me near to the end of the song to figure out WHAT THE FUCK she was singing. omg DASHA does a better rendition, and she sings it in that funny man-growl!!!

[punnky-kitty.livejournal.com]

I thought I was going to smack someone when they cut scenes everytime someone made a "relevant" That's Right! point about Gershwin on the uselessness of black music and how Elvis was a genius..*smack*
I thought Ruthie was going to be useful to the show for once and have an eating disorder or something and make it a "very special episode" but ahh...disappointment.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

a "relevant" That's Right! point about Gershwin on the uselessness of black music and how Elvis was a genius

Dude, YES. There was that one poor guy trying to explain the importance of rap and I kept hoping he would, y'know, ELABORATE or something before one of the others cut him off with the "I don't like how rap talks about mah sistaz and mah momma" or "there's no way rap is as MEANINGFUL as Elvis ripping off gospel music" arguments. But of course that never happened. grrrrrr!!!

I thought Ruthie was going to be useful to the show for once

Was that not the fakest crying EVER when she was up in her room whining about how all the music was gone 4-eva and nothing would ever be good again? I was astounded. I think Ruthie has lost all ability to even imitate human emotion anymore.

[karabou.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I love you. You always kill me with the funny.

7TH HEAVEN IS THE BEST CRACK EVER

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I am almost sad that it's ending! Except that I'm really not.

*g*

[kaffy-smaffy.livejournal.com]

Mum Cam. sang? I kind of wish the earth will swallow me up whole whenever I hear her sing.

7th Heaven is like that car crash you can't look away from but worse cause it involves such earnest idiots.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes EXACTLY. I looked at the blurb for the episode, saw "gershwin", and figured there'd be some singing, which is why I tuned in. As always, 7th Hev both delivered AND horrified!!

[lilysaid.livejournal.com]

hahaha, I KNEW this would pop up on my FL today. I kept making loud outraged sounds whenever they would say that magical, magical name, and my husband kept saying "Why don't you TURN it? How much LONGER is this going to be on?" but I couldn't stop watching without finding out what was going on with the mysterious homeless girl omg!

[stargems.livejournal.com]

I love when I *know* I'm going to see a rant on LJ based on something I've watched. It's strangely satisfying and fulfilling and amusing. And when Maggie brings the Simpson's icon, you know you're in for a treat, lol.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Especially Homer sticking the weiner in his eye!! Hee. I'm glad that my (self-inflicted) suffering brings others such amusement. In fact, that's one of the best things about fandom -- you can always count on somebody to take on for the team and then report back! *g*

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ahahhah! I don't know what it is with that show, but once you start watching the particularly bad, oh-so-earnest episodes, there is NO WAY to change the channel before the end. *Especially* when there's singing involved! I'm only sad that Madame Ruthie didn't bust out her weird cat yowl-growl method of singing, man.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ducks/]

7th Heaven sounds like utter torture and I'm glad we don't get it over here. Because I would probably watch it.

To contribute to you regaining your sanity: Ella Fitzgerald - I've Got A Crush On You" (http://s52.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2H4MPT576CYF13P696PX058C54)

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Hooray! I will download this the minute I get home, because you cannot have too many versions of this song. Unless they're being creepily sung by a mother to her daughter, that is. Oh, 7th Heaven and your lofty moral lessons about gay incest!!

[saturn92103.livejournal.com]

Physical. Pain.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

ANNIE SANG "I've Got a Crush on You" *AT* RUTHIE. The only thing that soothed the pain a little was the Brino twins' complete lack of sincerity when they were talking about being sad for Ruthie. ahahahah!

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

They couldn't have canceled it soon enough. TEN YEARS.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Why, god, why have you allowed this show to remain on for so long? What did we DO to deserve it?!?!

[overloved.livejournal.com]

i am, literally, dying inside.

50 cent and kanye west? ugh.

dying, maggie.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Because 50 Cent and Kanye West are PERFECT examples of how transitory and faddy black music is!! Because it's not like American music (and hell, Britpop too) was built on Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis and Billie Holliday and Ella Fitzgerald and soul music and gospel music and...oh, forget it. The main point here is that 7th Heaven SUXXXXORRRS FOREVER. grrrarghhh!!!

[overloved.livejournal.com]

i'm pulling out the race card!!

white artists covering black music in order to make it timeless is the biggest, most racist crock of shit to ever come out of that show.

i have a physical pain in my chest from the whole thing.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

I don't even understand why they needed to go there in the first place, yo! There is more than enough good music in the world and more than enough credit to go around; what could they possibly have thought was the benefit in putting down rap/hip-hop and claiming Gershwin as the epitome of all that's good in musical history?!?! I just...it made no SENSE.

[mitajoey.livejournal.com]

LOL. Thank you for that recap. My interpretation of the commercials I kept seeing, was much different. Glad to know Ruthie isn't pregnant.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Glad to know Ruthie isn't pregnant

You have just given me the stuff of NIGHTMARES!! It's bad enough that squinch-faced Lucy reproduced, omg!!!

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

That piece of shit is still running? The world is so strange.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness this is its last reel. I think even the actors are starting to long for death. All except the horrible hagfaced mother, that is.

[arallara.livejournal.com]

Wow, your icon is PERFECT. *g*

You know, I caught about 5-10 minutes of that show last night as I was flipping channels--bits of the scene where Ruthie is explaining to her mom about the Gershwin, the scene where the homeless girl is singing on the street, and the scene where Ruthie is sobbing on the bed listening to Gershwin. And, you know, I pretty much got the whole nausea-inducing storyline just from that. I didn't get the conversation about the co-optation of Black music, but I think that's probably a good thing for my blood pressure and mental health. *g*

Don't the "homeless" people on that show always remind you of the fake homeless people in the *NSYNC Christmas video?? That same "hey, we rubbed some dirt on some shiny clean actors and now they're homeless" look. Gee, homeless people are so useful for reminding us of the indomitable goodness of the human spirit, aren't they? I'm surprised JC never wrote a song about homeless people in space.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

the fake homeless people in the *NSYNC Christmas video??

ahahahah! Omg you are SO RIGHT. With the same unexplainable predilection towards being "healed by music" as well! Dude, it really is a good thing that you didn't see the whole "black music < white music" debate, because it was really just tragic and maddening.

I'm surprised JC never wrote a song about homeless people in space

THAT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. hahahahahahahahha!!!

[smallbeer.livejournal.com]

SEXY homeless people in space, even!

omg, I am crying, I'm laughing so hard.

[smallbeer.livejournal.com]

you know, I don't think I've ever seen a full episode of 7th H., not even Lance's, but it occupies a happy mental place for me because you are my 7th H.-watching proxy, and will occasionally deliver the goods on episodes like this one. (also, the TWoP recaps can be verrra amusing. Between TWoP and LJ, the week of 7th H.: The Musical! was a very good week for freeloaders like me.)

I read, I laughed, I scrolled up to read again and looked at Homer with the weiner in his eye and laughed some more. Thank you, Maggie, for doing the dirty job of watching this show.

[bossymarmalade.livejournal.com]

Sinead, I am pleased that taking the bullet re: 7th Heaven gives my friendslist such joy, because heaven knows *some* good needs to come out of that show!! Unless you're the kind of person who revels in bad, bad television (me) or the kind of person who's a sick addict (callmesandy, shhh), there's no reason you should ever subject yourself to actually watching a full episode.

And dude, the TWoP recaps are GOLD. I read them over and over and laugh every single time!