isilya: (Default)
isilya ([personal profile] isilya) wrote in [personal profile] bossymarmalade 2004-05-10 10:40 am (UTC)

Ohhhh, this is so fabulous and well crafted; it's just enough detail and just enough creep and the Lance/Diane segment is so perfectly conceived and executed.

Loved every word of it, from start to finish. You incorporated the Challenge words so well and so evocatively, I love your Lynn in love with her beautiful creature, her fierce possesiveness of his brightness and body. I love all the supporting characters, from JC to Chris to the unnamed blonde woman -- and Britney's perfume between her thighs. That's fabulous.

"Justin, baby," Lynn says helplessly. She picks up the same perfectly-aligned stack of papers and thumps them again, once on each side. "You gotta just take it on trust. If a girl's with you, she wants to be there. All you have to do is listen to what she wants, pay attention to her, be considerate, and she'll be fine."

This, this is so perfect, I can't even say how perfect it is. The cadence, the actions, every word of squirm-inducing dialogue -- you've so captured the essence of Lynncest, the innapropriate mother/son relationship. What I love about this story is you keep the mother/son relationship to the fore, rather than making Lynn just Justin's best friend or lover; your emphasis on the small maternal acts are a triumph.

I'm just going to say !!!!1111!!!!! for emphasis.

Loved it!

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