bossymarmalade: a bird with colours overflowing its cage (no cage can contain us)
miss maggie ([personal profile] bossymarmalade) wrote2014-09-01 09:43 am

(no subject)

So four years ago in October, [personal profile] skywardprodigal passed away. And a few days ago, [personal profile] delux_vivens passed. Both of these women had such vibrant, funny, challenging voices and taught me so much about not just ways of understanding being chromatic in this world, but also who *I* am in this world. It was a long time since Delux and I spoke, since I drifted away from DW, but god I'm so sad to know she's gone.

The other thing is -- I've been a supporter of OTW and AO3 in the past, like, moneywise. Because I believe in the whole "we own the servers" concept. But I won't be supporting them with my dollars anymore, and marina has an excellent summary of why in her post. The Abuse team at AO3 has been contacted by multiple people and give the same pat answer to all about how we who find it hostile can "just not look at it", which isn't a good enough response.

I keep wanting to come back to DW but finding it hard to switch back into text posting after the mindless, low-stress distance of reblogging on tumblr. So maybe I'll try just using it as a here's-what-i-did-today journal until I get back in the swing of things. We'll see.
allchildren: bonnie, caroline, and elena hold a seance (ⱴ found girls)

[personal profile] allchildren 2014-09-01 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for the news about [profile] delux_vixens. I don't know if I would have heard otherwise. She and her work taught me a lot even without personal interaction, and I'm so sorry to all her friends.
siria: (avengers - natasha run)

[personal profile] siria 2014-09-01 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I was also very sorry to here of [personal profile] delux_vivens' death. I only knew her a little, from comments we'd exchanged about the awesomeness of Teyla and the sheer hotness of Jason Momoa, but she seemed a wonderful person.

The Abuse team at AO3 has been contacted by multiple people and give the same pat answer to all about how we who find it hostile can "just not look at it"

Holy crap. I'm nowhere near involved with the hockey fandom so hadn't heard even rumblings about this. I got paid today and had been intending to re-up my OTW membership but now I think I'm going to hold off on that, at least for the foreseeable future.
stewardess: (Default)

[personal profile] stewardess 2014-09-01 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I met delux_vivens on LJ six or seven years ago, through an imbroglio very similar to the hockey story at AO3. The imbroglio in the past [according to my non-perfect memory] involved Harry Potter fanfic website mods [AO3 did not yet exist] issuing fic challenges, one of which was "miscegenation." When it was brought to their attention [by Zvi, I think] that the term was racist, the mods said, "Well, we didn't mean it like that, we mean human/magical animal sex [such as Harry/Sirius when he's a dog], how dare you kink shame us!" And when people said, "Hey, you just made it a thousand times worse by equating interracial sex with bestiality," the mods responded with every square of derailment bingo -- but eventually removed the prompt. I commented on the hockey story at Marina's DW, so I won't here.

The loss of delux_vivens has left me reeling since I learned of it on Friday. She gave so much to people. It is clear from comments everywhere from tumblr to twitter that there are hundreds of people whose lives changed because they knew her. I miss her joy about everything -- seriously good food, men with great thighs, and amazing skincare products. But what I am missing the most right now is her command of language. I cannot think of another person who did more to shape and popularize the words used in fandom to describe and combat oppression. In a society where even the existence of oppression is denied, her language cut through to the truth.
willow: Green Dreamsheep with spear and blood (DeeWee: OrcSheep)

So much Teal Deer.

[personal profile] willow 2014-09-01 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm one of those people, who keeps being surprised when someone I know announces that NOW, finally AO3 has crossed a line. Because to me, starting with the issues of diversity in leadership and cultivating diversity in structure - certain things were clear to me years ago about who would dominate and what their attitudes were like.

So to me the writing was on the wall a while ago and everything that consequentially happens is no suprise.

That said, I read[personal profile] marina's essay and it breaks down something I got into trouble trying to express on my own a time or two. Or at least part of it. One half is the 'don't be ashamed of your kink, but understand what actions surrounding it can do to harm people'. The other is 'how you respond when someone says you've expressed it in an unknowledgeable/damaging way' understand it's not about you. Going 'this is a place for fun not critique' doesn't absolve all your actions in being harmful.

But, I breathe and step back - cause it's a whole rant for me on who gets made invisible and how when it comes to 'fanfic as empowering sexuality and (primarily) women's self expression'

Also I hear you on the tumblr vs DW thing. I have a public (writing related) journal and a private one and this one for commenting - since it won't back up properly. Not looking forward to a fourth, or necessarily mixing things up - though in my case there's emotional association in using this site these days and I check-in for certain people, but some days I end up scrolling past ppl I care about on here, cause DW stuff tends to be more involved and recently my brain couldn't match up.

I can't even think/talk about DeluxVivens. (But my Icon lights a candle)
giglet: (Default)

[personal profile] giglet 2014-09-01 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I am glad to hear your voice again.
jjhunter: silhouetted woman by winding black road; blank ink tinted with green-blue background (silhouetted JJ by winding road)

[personal profile] jjhunter 2014-09-01 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
For what it's worth, it's a joy to see you here again, and an easing to be less alone in grieving.
devilc: Soranik Natu & Iolande of Betrassus kicking ass (Fainting Lillies)

[personal profile] devilc 2014-09-02 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm gob-smacked that Delux_Vivens has left the building too soon. I'll admit, I hadn't talked to her in about six months, but damnit, damnit, damnit.

(Edited to add: I changed icons, because I made a variation of this one as a gift for D_V a few years back.)
Edited 2014-09-02 05:35 (UTC)
surpassingly: (scene: a velvet and false darkness)

[personal profile] surpassingly 2014-09-03 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
So good to see you again. <333

I'm still reeling from Delux's loss. I just... just can't.
amadi: A bouquet of dark purple roses (Default)

[personal profile] amadi 2014-09-03 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
First, it's good to see you. I don't know if I'm following you on Tumblr, I find it hard to keep up over there. I am permanently Tumblr bankrupt. Alas.

Delux's death has left me foundering for any good reaction. I didn't have one when I first heard, and I still don't. It's like the void is too broad to even contemplate.

I don't know what to think of AO3 any more. The refusal to initiate any kind of tagging guidelines has come back to bite them in the ass over and over, with the crappy search engine to the tag soup problem and now this. I'm glad I've kept posting fic elsewhere as well and haven't given them my cash.
ciderpress: default: woman with red umbrella (Default)

[personal profile] ciderpress 2014-09-03 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
I hadn't realised that delux had passed away. She'd contacted me recently to let me know she might be coming to London. I'm heartbroken.

Hey, bb. Hey. *hugs*
ciderpress: default: woman with red umbrella (Default)

[personal profile] ciderpress 2014-09-07 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly how I feel.

It's way things go, I guess, that I reported the thing I think you're talking about on ao3 before I found out about delux. I learnt how to express myself and write about things like that with you and her and others in fandom, so yeah.

I think we all drift away. I hadn't posted in eleven months and haven't been on here for a while. It's nice to talk to you again, Maggie.
frausorge: (diagon alley)

[personal profile] frausorge 2014-09-03 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
I too had come to the conclusion that it was time to stop donating to AO3, and wrote in to tell them as much, though without response so far.
glass_icarus: (light on the water)

[personal profile] glass_icarus 2014-09-05 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ So sad to hear about delux. I wish I'd gotten to know her better.

I'm glad to hear your voice again, bb! Even though I've been drifting myself.
glass_icarus: (avatar: appa hiding)

[personal profile] glass_icarus 2014-09-07 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh god, I can't believe I still haven't managed to watch that movie yet. *fails fandom forever* TIME TO RECTIFY, HOPEFULLY TONIGHT!